Black Privilege? GTFOH. Seriously?

Sometimes, when I see inane shit on the news, or in my news feed on social media, I simply jot it down and promise myself a deeper dive later.

Such was the case with this bullshit. Seriously, “black privilege” is a thing that actual grown folks who have, one would assume, at least SOME education, actually talk about…it’s NOT just a piece by Charlamagne Tha God. Now, unlike discussions of other things that do not exist, like unicorns, werewolves, or dragons, this is not a discussion held in mom’s basement while holding a multi-sided game piece or even a simply a thought exercise about “possibilities”.

People talk about this like its actually TRUE. Seriously. Google it. Search that shit on Tumblr. Check out Twitter.

And by people, I mean people who are NOT black.

And these people looked up from keyboards covered in White Tears, and even created a checklist of exactly what privileges we posses as blacks. Now, at first glance this is obviously a list created by those who are upset that they can’t say “nigger”. Sad because they didn’t invent jazz. Or hip-hop. Or the blues. Their mascara is running because they feel that blacks are more dominating at certain sports.

Basically, a bunch of Wypipo who don’t think that owning and running everything in the Western world for centuries makes them feel special enough. These are the people who came up with terms like “All Lives Matter”. These are the people who create court cases when their whiteness doesn’t qualify them for more than they earned. These are the people who bring up how the Irish or Italians were treated when confronted with Japanese internment camps and 20th century lynchings of blacks. These are people who make up shit like “the Irish were slaves too“, as if….if it were actually true…another group of people being treated horribly would make up for black enslavement.

These are people crying rivers of tears, because they feel underrepresented in the “somebody done me wrong” department.

Lets take a look at this black privilege checklist, and unpack it a bit. Now, this is just ONE of the many “Black Privilege Checklists” I found, I am sure there are more.

  • Black people can have “black only clubs”, like the NAACP and Black Lives Matter. There are no organizations specifically for whites.
    Why this is wrong: These organizations don’t exist to exclude whites…they exist because black’s were excluded from white clubs. Black’s created black clubs and organizations, simply because, if we wanted organizations or clubs, we HAD to. But, these clubs and organizations have never EXCLUDED non-blacks, they have simply been open TO blacks. As for organizations specifically for whites, yes, they DO in fact exist. Although, now they exclude blacks by other means. Income. Fraternity affiliation. Family “ties”.
  • Affirmative action benefits blacks, not whites.
    First off, this is wrong…because affirmative action has benefited white women a shitload. Except in their case, we call it “Equal Rights”. Because, you know, we think women should be treated equally as well as men? (well, most of us do…) Secondly, Affirmative Action was created because we had no other recourse. Go back and read my response to #1 again. It was created because otherwise we couldn’t: Get. The. Fuck. In. Schools. Universities. Jobs. Affirmative action was created to give equal access. White people already HAVE that. Its called access to “everything else”.
  • Whites cannot play Rap, R&B, and Jazz or gospel without being considered controversial.
    Eminem would beg to differ on this. Oh yeah…and the history of black music being used by whites to earn more money and acclaim than blacks playing the same music is long and storied. Look up Elvis. Justin Timberlake. Led Zeppelin (who stole whole fucking songs from black artists). And ya’ll white folks completely overlook the fact that these forms of music were created because of black emotion. We created these forms as a way to express our pain, our love, our misery, our joy. But…I’m thinking we should probably be ashamed for having those things too?
  • Blacks can be sure of watching a football or basketball program and seeing their race widely represented.
    Seriously though? This is a Wypipo gripe? We’re too good at sports? You can say this even in the face of a history where you made us start our own baseball league, because you wouldnt let us play with you? And then you got pissed because our games drew larger crowds, so you started letting us in yours? Let’s be honest here….Jackie Robinson wasn’t invited into MLB through some altruistic need to be inclusive. It was because MLB wanted the black dollar. Beyond that, the reason so many young black men do so well in sports like football and basketball is because they come from neighborhoods where that is their only option to get out. I bet if Chet and Tanner knew that their only way into college was basketball or football, they’d spend everyday of their childhood perfecting it too.
  • Blacks can never be accused of cultural appropriation.
    True. Because, blacks acting in a particular manner is EXPECTED. And derided when it doesn’t happen. It’s not appropriation if you are forced to do it. But, nobody is “forcing” Wyatt to act like he’s from the hood. He gets to choose that shit. No one has a problem when Katelyn comes home from Bermuda with cornrows, in fact, they think it’s cute. But, when Imani does it, they expect her to be more presentable and professional, or she gets FIRED.
  • If Blacks have committed a crime such as speeding and the police pull them over, they can blame it on racism instead.
    Sure. But more often than not, you’re pulled over for BEING BLACK. I’m from New Jersey, we damn near invented racial profiling, so feel free to fight me on this. But, I’ve got bad news for you sunshine… if you DID commit a crime? Your race doesn’t matter. You deserve what the punishment is. And chances are, if you’re black, we’re madder at you than the whites are. Then again, chances are if you’re black, statistically speaking, your punishment will be worse than if you are white. Then again, these days, you run the risk of getting shot simply BECAUSE they pulled your black ass over.
  • Black’s can use race to promote themselves in the media or work. White people cannot promote their race.
    The emperor has no clothes here. Seriously. In a culture where almost all benchmarks of beauty, intelligence and success have white faces, to get mad when someone points out a non-white for achieving the same standards is inane and hypocritical. Got a problem with Beyonce’s beauty, talent and success? Yeah, well tear down Taylor Swift too. Otherwise STFU.
  • Blacks can be lazy and blame it on racism. A white person can never blame his/her laziness on racism.
    First off…black’s being lazy was a stereotype created by Whites. So you are seriously going to create a stereotype and then complain that you cant apply it to yourself? Really? Here’s a tip, Sparky: You know how you always hear about the halcyon days of the 50’s? The land of Leave It To Beaver or The Brady Bunch? Where dad worked and mom stayed home to raise the kids? Yeah…that was always a WHITE reality. Because blacks have almost always had two working parent households. And the stories of fathers having two or three jobs, mothers having two or three jobs? We know them so well we don’t even consider them remarkable. We look at it as the “way things were”. So, “lazy”. Run tell that.
  • There are TV channels and shows specifically designed for black people.
    Again…because all the others are “white” stations. If black’s want to see themselves portrayed positively on TV, we can’t just make the shows, we have to make the stations to air them as well. “Scandal” notwithstanding.
  • Black pride is considered a form of empowerment. White pride is considered a form of racism.
    That’s because “Black Pride”, “Latino Pride”, “Gay Pride”, etc are based in being proud of who you are. Being proud of what you have become. Being proud of what and where you came from. “White Pride” is based in being proud of not being “un-White”. White pride groups are not based on the idea of simply being proud of heritage, they are based on pride in heritage to the exclusion of those they consider lesser. This is why no one has issue with “Irish-American” clubs, or “Italian-American” clubs…because they exist to celebrate where they came from, and don’t do it by making others feel inferior.
  • Blacks can call white people cracker and honky, but a white person can never call me a nigger.
    Firstly, the last time a black person called a white person “honky”, was some time around 1977. Ya’ll need to update your lingo. Secondly, “cracker”, although derogatory in nature, doesn’t carry the same weight or history as “nigger”. But, this is yet another case of white people creating a stereotype and then wanting it used differently. Hell, Ben Franklin called you “cracker” too. But, aside from that, about this whole “nigger” usage thing. Throwing aside all of the re-appropriation to dispel power talk, we can use and it and you can’t. That’s just how it is. Just like, you can call your child “stupid” when they do something stupid, but, if a stranger calls them stupid for the same event, you’re ready to fight them on it.

But, in a world where Darth Cheeto* is in charge, I guess crap like Black Privilege makes sense to the uneducated.

*”Darth Cheeto” term stolen from Damon Young, and used without permission because it fits and it’s fucking awesome

WTFs Next
Sometimes you stand there and think, “WTF’s Next?” while looking at a situation or something on the news. And you’re left to point, fret, wonder and mull it over alone.

I instead choose to write all that crap down HERE and get it off my chest.

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