Oh, Florida, you’re so weird

What is it with Florida though? How come, every time I look at the weirder parts of my news feeds, “Florida Man” or “Florida Woman” is always up to SOMETHING?

Naked Florida Man Stranded on Bridge

A naked man was rescued from the top of an upright Fort Lauderdale drawbridge after more than two hours.

At first, naked man resisted rescue attempts atop railroad drawbridge, firemen said.

Firefighters answering a rescue call on an otherwise routine downtown Friday morning encountered a scene that was anything but: A man perched 100 feet atop a railroad drawbridge over the New River.

He was agitated and paranoid, rescuers reported.

He was also naked.

“Initially when we got here he wasn’t very cooperative, he didn’t want anyone to come near him and he didn’t want to be rescued,” said Deputy Fire Rescue Chief Timothy Heiser. “He denied any drug use.”

Read that again: “He denied any drug use.”

When was the last time YOU were butt-naked on a drawbridge SOBER? I bet it was in Florida.

Two tense hours passed in the sweltering heat while rescuers plotted strategy. A fireboat stood by below in case a water rescue was necessary. The man, possibly homeless, moved about on a six-foot-square metal platform.

“Every time he moved, all of us that were on scene our hearts stopped, wondering if he’s getting up to jump,” Heiser said. “You don’t know what his state of mind is.”

After a derring-do ascent up the raised trestle, Fort Lauderdale firefighters David Bassion and Richard Olympio reached the man. Bassion shook his hand, gave him some water, and a white towel to cover himself.

“He didn’t have much to say,” Bassion recounted. “He just wanted to get down.”

Let’s be honest….a loquacious naked man on a drawbridge would just be too much, am I right?

The man, who was not identified, was harnessed to the Florida East Coast Railway bridge, which was then slowly lowered. He was taken to Broward Health Medical Center for treatment of exposure and observation.

Treatment for “exposure”.

That’s not a pun.

That’s a quote.

And it’s just….awesome.

Thank you Florida Man….thank you.

(story via sun-sentinel.com)

WTFs Next
Sometimes you stand there and think, “WTF’s Next?” while looking at a situation or something on the news. And you’re left to point, fret, wonder and mull it over alone.

I instead choose to write all that crap down HERE and get it off my chest.

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