Pregnant Hands

So….someone on Twitter recently commented about what my “WTF of The Week” from back in December, entitled “ISIS Scorpion Bombs“.

The Tweet said, and I quote:

Now….despite the fact that nowhere in my post did I mention asking why an extremist would obey their Imam…I did respond, as any polite person would.

But, to be honest I did go and read the actual article they posted (even if it was just an article telling you to go read other articles), the general gist is that Muslims follow the Hadith as pointed out by their Imam.

To explain (and probably get it wrong and get more Tweets), for us lay-people, the Imam is essentially the priest / minister / reverend, and part of their job is to interpret the actual meaning of certain things if they are not spelled out clearly enough in the Quran. These explanations are collected and preserved and they are Hadith.

Now…to this anonymous Tweeter, the fact that a Hadith days “do this” or “don’t do that”, is reason enough to obey (because Word of God = Quran = Hadith).

So…I leave you with this:

Masturbating in this life with give you pregnant hands in the next life.

No shit.

I don’t speak Turkish, but, from what I’ve read, thats what this Turkish version of Joel Osteen is saying that the Hadith spells out: the punishment of pregnant hands (and presumably a post-partem loss of dexterity).

Not sure what exactly your hand is pregnant WITH, nor if it would also break incest rules….but, yeah. This Imam also pointed out that the man will have to look after his hands’ offspring in the afterlife.

So…yeah. There’s this kind of thing.

WTF’s Next?

WTFs Next
Sometimes you stand there and think, “WTF’s Next?” while looking at a situation or something on the news. And you’re left to point, fret, wonder and mull it over alone.

I instead choose to write all that crap down HERE and get it off my chest.

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